Monday, November 1, 2010

I Had a Dream

I had a dream last night that Hudson and I were on a jet and, for some reason, in order to protect Hudson or save him, I had to put him in a pod and eject him from the plane while we were over the ocean. I knew that by doing so he had the best chance of survival, but it was nearly impossible to do. As I watched the pod with my baby in it plummet toward the ocean, I thought about how crazy it was that I was putting his safety in the "hands" of that pod and fate, but that I had to have faith that what I was doing was going to save him.

When I left Hudson at Open Arms, his daycare (or school as I'm calling it), for the first time this morning, I felt the familiar feeling that I'd felt during my dream. I know that he'll do great at school and that he's going to learn so much and make friends, but it goes against my motherly instinct and every. bone. in. my. body. to leave him in the care of people who don't know him (no matter how sweet and caring they are--and Miss Angela and Miss Erika certainly are), love him and would die for him.

But I have faith. I have faith that God has him there for a reason. And I know that He loves him even more than I do.....even if that seems impossible. :)

Bright and early before school...too excited to eat!

 On our way!

Playing at school the moment we arrived...there are so many more toys than at home!

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1 comment:

  1. UnknownNovember 3, 2010 at 3:48 AM

    Something new in Hudson's beautiful face that early morning, before going to school, for the very first time. A new day, a different day was dawning for him. Surprised face caught on camera to document that new early morning. Really Mommy?, pictures and this new word, "school"..? The Best and the Bravest Mommy I know releases to the world the best and brightest light in our lives. He laughed & played & he learned. Hudson had so MUCH to share about his day he talked until bedtime. The stories gloriously filled the following day. The funniest and the best of blah blah blah's like music for the soul. He rejoices in sharing his experience with his brave and nervous mommy, with many blah blahs his eyes would dance, & a smile widen for a belly laugh or 2. He liked school, Hal-lay-lou-ya! 6 mo. old and had so much to tell. If only the blah blah translation were available. Would love to know all the wonderful news of his 1st day at school. But then the wonderful way his eyes light up and dance telling his story, it is pure joy for the heart. Love in his eyes could feed the soul for a lifetime and my heart burst trying to fill it with blah blah's and giggle memories I was blessed to witness and receive. A new day dawned for Hudson and he rose to embrace it. He is amazing and the Best BB Boy in the whole wide world. Love is grant, Hudson is love.

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